Gender affirmation, then "woke" misgendering?

Today was a rainy day. And I absolutely love rain! Especially when there's mist or warm humid air afterwards. But I don't like it when it's cold and I'm supposed to go outside and actually get wet myself. I like it more when I get to watch everyone else get soaked while I'm comfortable inside with a hot beverage. So to go easy on myself, I took the bus instead of cycling all the way to campus.

The day was quite unremarkable, if not for two things. The first thing was when I ran into my mutual friend's friends on the bus and had a brief chat about some really odd hippie kind of professor (such a lovable dork though). One of those friends started the conversation asking me for my pronouns (I don't quite look like the typical cismasc nor cisfem person) and it was the first time since getting my new haircut that someone asked me my pronouns in person. I'm already used to it online, but that's because you have literally nothing at first except the other person's profile picture. Real life is something extra, at least to me. So this event felt really affirming.

The second thing was also related to how people (struggled to) read my gender, except... it was really awkward this time. I was on the bus home and it was pouring so much outside. Then this old lady took the empty seat next to me, saw my rainbow pin on my jacket and looked at my hair, which is more socially acceptable for the opposite sex, and I don't know what was going on in that lady's mind but I know it immediately screamed "TRANS PERSON". Basically she assumed I was trans and totally okay with her rambles about some pride boat on national TV while she referred to me with exclusively the "right" pronouns (a.k.a. the wrong ones, because I prefer they/them, but of course why would she bother to ask me), even pausing to add extra emphasis to comments like "young ladies/gentlemen like you".

Now, I'm not against being read as genderqueer or as the opposite sex. But damn... did she really have to assume my gender, even if I don't look cis? Aren't assumptions a big deal we're trying to avoid with gender inclusion, so we don't unintentionally and/or actively misgender people? If I were someone else, like an actual trans person, this lady woul've totally rubbed it in my face even more that I did not yet pass as the desired gender, even if that was not her intention. If I were just a person who identified as their biological sex, those overly emphasised comments probably would've made me feel uncomfortable too. I appreciate her efforts and (hopefully) good intentions, especially since she grew up in the times when this was still taboo or a genuinely alien concept to nearly everyone. But still. Her in-your-face attitude made it so awkward. Needless to say, I quickly searched for a way to escape the "conversation", which was by leaving the bus three stops early and waiting in the pouring rain for the next bus.

It showed me once again that there are two types of people: those who want to genuinely understand (like those mutual friends on the bus), and those who think they already know everything and only seek confirmation (like the old lady). I like the former far more, and strive to be that person who doesn't assume but always learns new cool things, despite (or because) holding different opinions. But I also cannot deny the latter is still a very felt presence in the room, regardless of opinion or political/social "camp".

Emotions are a funny thing

It's so crazy how I can be very brooding and pessimistic one moment, and the next I'm like "FUCK YEAH" and in the blink of an eye I've started racing through my apartment forgetting anxiety is a thing and feeling like the silliest goofball to ever exist. (My apologies to any neighbours who have heard me singing VERY badly or running into walls or giggling like a maniac.) The same can go the other way around too which often happens without music. I'm still not sure what causes the latter. But I am sure of one thing: rain, especially when combined with hot chocolate and a blanket, is the only thing that has consistently brought my highs and lows back to a middle ground. Too bad it doesn't rain a lot here. It's either way too warm and way too bright summer weather or it's a plain and dry type of cold. For a country memed to be raining non-stop, it really doesn't rain enough here.

My mood changes don't depend on my overall energy level or my sleep the night before, though. You'd think it depends on how well I'm feeling or something. But nope! There is no method to this madness. It just happens, for better or worse. One thing I did notice is that mood swings are often influenced by music, the people around me and my caffeine intake. But even then I can't tell if those make me more excitable or less, because both have happened in almost exactly the same situations. At least I could hypothetically start to gamble or bet with myself by trying to predict the outcome of a certain event or interaction... which sounds pretty lame, actually, so let's scrap that idea.

P.S. I should be studying. But how am I supposed to study when the mood is swinging between subzero or far into the stratosphere!?