v3ruc | Emotions are a funny thing

It's so crazy how I can be very brooding and pessimistic one moment, and the next I'm like "FUCK YEAH" and in the blink of an eye I've started racing through my apartment forgetting anxiety is a thing and feeling like the silliest goofball to ever exist. (My apologies to any neighbours who have heard me singing VERY badly or running into walls or giggling like a maniac.) The same can go the other way around too which often happens without music. I'm still not sure what causes the latter. But I am sure of one thing: rain, especially when combined with hot chocolate and a blanket, is the only thing that has consistently brought my highs and lows back to a middle ground. Too bad it doesn't rain a lot here. It's either way too warm and way too bright summer weather or it's a plain and dry type of cold. For a country memed to be raining non-stop, it really doesn't rain enough here.

My mood changes don't depend on my overall energy level or my sleep the night before, though. You'd think it depends on how well I'm feeling or something. But nope! There is no method to this madness. It just happens, for better or worse. One thing I did notice is that mood swings are often influenced by music, the people around me and my caffeine intake. But even then I can't tell if those make me more excitable or less, because both have happened in almost exactly the same situations. At least I could hypothetically start to gamble or bet with myself by trying to predict the outcome of a certain event or interaction... which sounds pretty lame, actually, so let's scrap that idea.

P.S. I should be studying. But how am I supposed to study when the mood is swinging between subzero or far into the stratosphere!?